Bikini Body Confidence

Fast forward 10 years to 2018 and that confidence and body positivity were stolen from me by a diagnosis of triple negative breast cancer, followed by surgery and chemotherapy. All my confidence was drained as I was stripped of the woman I once was and now an unrecognisable stranger looked back at me from the mirror. I didn’t like what I saw and felt I needed to hide away. It was as if a light had gone out. Over the last 2 years I’ve regained my health and fitness, and noticed that my positivity was still dimly flickering like a light at the end of a long, dark, lonely tunnel. I just needed to find my missing mojo! It came in the form of Curvy Kate’s Bikini Confidence Campaign. I thought if I can do this, then I could prove to myself that I am still that confident , positive woman, just a little older and wiser, with more life experience, a few battle scars and a new image ,but ultimately alive, to live my best life.

Feeling disgusted at what I saw in the mirror and terrified to express my sexier and more confident self in a public space.
I was a victim of a sex attack on holiday, and in the process lost trust in some of my closest female friends. The R word is prevalent for many of us, in our lives, and the statistics surrounding women and sexual violence are sickening, we often forget how severely it takes a toll on our bodies and mental health longer term, on our relationships and support networks, this isn’t something which goes away in a day or two. I found the way I consumed media surrounding women’s bodies changed, I covered the mirrors in my house, I wasn’t ok letting anyone close to me.
I have been working through a lot of the emotional scars in therapy, I had started taking myself for dinners and really indulging in self care when this opportunity arose… and I could think of a better way to throw myself In the deep end and face that last hurdle, how I felt about my body. Now FELT being the operative word here…. Because this experience was mind blowing. We all started the day with sheepish looks, nervous giggles, holding our bellies, hiding under dressing gowns.
But, come on now… that wasn’t going to last! With beautiful and encouraging women on our side the genuine smiles were shining before lunch time. And what an EXPERIENCE! We dragged ourselves out of our insecurities and into the limelight… we had tears, we had hugs, we had each other.
Curvy Kate thank you for putting me in a bikini, and even more than that; gifting me with these incredible women to indulge with, in the clarity that all of us deserve to be seen, to be sexy and to love our bodies… no matter what we’ve been through. We all have a story.
Every one does indeed have a story and Curvy Kat created this campaign so that you can tell you story, feel empowered in life not just your bikini!

I’d wear clothes I didn’t like to disguise the body I resented. You’d rarely see photos of me. It was miserable never truly being myself. I’ve worked hard to give myself happiness in lots of parts of my life - I have a profession and lots of people in my life that I love, but I never worked on loving myself. When I saw the Curvy Kate callout, it felt serendipitous. I always said to myself I’ll wear a bikini for the first time when I’ve lost that stone or toned up my tummy. I had to be perfect. Signing up, I knew I wasn’t the heaviest I’d ever been, nor was I the lightest. I didn’t feel ‘ready’, but that was the point: my body was already a bikini body. All bodies are bikini bodies.