Throughout the month of June we've asked our very own Brand Ambassadors to write a Pride Month Guest Blog. First up we have midsize fashion & lingerie influencer Estelle!
"Growing up, one of my Mum’s best friends was a gay man. And so, as a child, I always was aware of the existence of gay people and that all sexual orientations were perfectly normal and valid.
You’d think that would’ve meant that accepting my own Queerness would’ve been easy, right?
Unfortunately, that was not the case. The culprits? Compulsory Heterosexuality (aka comphet) and a healthy dose of internalised homophobia – the dynamic duo. Comphet is the idea that heterosexuality is not only the norm in our society, but that it is also constantly enforced upon us. Think your friends asking you if you liked any of the boys at school, your grandparents asking when your brother will find a wife, or all the romcoms you watched growing up that focused on a love story between a man and a woman – that sort of thing.
Unfortunately for Queer people, that often means we end up seeking heterosexual relationships because we’ve been led to believe that they are what we want and must strive for.
For me, that meant believing I was straight for the first 24 years of my life. I did question my sexuality a fair bit, but I was massively in denial. I thought I couldn’t possibly be gay as I didn’t fit any of the stereotypes I’d seen or heard, and I was terrified at the idea of having sex with a woman – yeah, of course I was, the same way I was scared of having sex with a man for the first time, the only difference being that at least the mechanics of the latter get covered in Sex-Ed!
It took a year of lockdown (and a good amount of Lesbian TikTok) to burst that comphet bubble. Turns out that if you like kissing girls and are attracted to them, you’re not straight. Wild, I know!
The funny thing is, until I first slept with a girl, I’d never actually questioned my attraction to men - another lovely side effect of comphet. I’m still trying to figure that part out. I definitely know that I like women and that I only want to be with women, but I’m not sure if I am – or ever was – attracted to men.
But that’s okay. We get so focused on trying to fit into these neat little boxes and label ourselves that we forget that, at the end of the day, it doesn’t actually matter. Our identify is valid regardless.
Happy Pride my lovelies xxx"
📸 Follow #BraBassador Estelle on Instagram
